Loyalists: Solve our national problems - resurrect Marcos

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:32
 
 
Marcos loyalists have a simple solution to the country's problems: bring the dictator back from the dead.
 
At the brutal tyrant's crypt in Batac, fanatics have gathered to do just that.
 
Amid eerie rhythmic chanting from massed robed worshipers accompanied by the steady pounding of a huge drum, shrieking shamans called on the refrigerated corpse to come back to life. "Hear the pleas of your cringing worthless loyalist minions, oh master," they implored, pleas interspersed with bloodcurdling howls of "Marcos pa rin."
 
The rite was abruptly interrupted when the electricity shut down, and sounds of dripping were mixed with curses.
 
"The cooperative has cut off the power again!", yelled one of the unholy priests."Hurry you fools, pay the bill before master turns into a malignant puddle."

Manufacturer assures Marcos loyalists steady supply of lies

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 09:20
 
 
Marcos loyalists can be assured of a steady supply of lies to promote their idol, said a firm that makes some of the falsehoods.
 
"Loyalists don't ever need to worry about a shortage of shameless lies, baldfaced fabrications and mendacities to support their dearly beloved, malevolent and currently festering leader", declared Tool Furol, chief chair arranger and projector focus adjuster of the consultancy firm Indestructible Deceits and Jeepney Barker Enterprises.
 
"I personally guarantee that my company will keep them well-supplied with the outrageous perversions and dishonest claims they need to shore up their belief in our glorious and gelatinous Ferdinand."
 
He said he was making the announcement in reaction to "rumors" that Marcos loyalists were running out of fake info, falsified data and untruths.
 
"Those stories that we're running out of lies are -- well, lies," he spluttered. "To such claims, I say, stuff and nonsense, in the pretentious tone I use in my posts on Facebook."

Understanding hooligan behavior

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 08:47
 
On November 2014 the son of the decomposing, slowly melting, half-jellied ex-dictator Ferdinand Marcos visited the University of the Philippines in Diliman campus to give a talk. Of course, as a member of a family that plundered the country, stealing at least US$10 billion, and whose patriarch tortured and killed thousands, jailed thousands more, and ruined democratic institutions -- you can be sure he got the reception he deserved.
 
Namely: nothing.
 
Wait, you ask, surely a character like Marcos junior would at least prompt a modest activist turnout, a few hooligans to shout, wave placards and throw stuff? Didn't radicals, years back, actually take over the UP campus for a week and cock their noses at the forces of Marcos senior?
 
Well apparently things are different now and the new activist policy towards the Marcoses is: cricket sounds.
 

Modern Philippine mythical creatures

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 11:19
 
 
A report from a totally reliable source -- an anonymous text message -- says Batangas is being menaced by a group of aswang on a truck.
 
I think it's a hoax. Don't you think it's suspicious how the message fails to say how the aswang were recognized? Did they drive their truck close enough for the texter to get a good look at their Official Aswang IDs? For all we know they could have been congressmen -- it's easy to confuse the two species.
 
But even if the report is bogus, it raises a timely question: isn't it time to update the list of Philippine mythological creatures?

Super Crazy Marcos Loyalist Claims

Wed, 10/01/2014 - 10:31
 
 
By now, pretty much all of planet Earth - and probably a few neighboring star systems - is aware that Ferdinand Marcos was a lying, stinking, thieving butcher.
 
This is something that doesn't sit well with Marcos loyalists.
 
"Aww, he's not that bad", they say while drooling on their alphabet blocks (the complete loyalist set, A to B)
 
Loyalists don't like hearing that Marcos killed thousands of Filipinos, jailed and tortured tens of thousands more, and stole at least US$10 billion. They don't like hearing how Marcos chopped up the economy, dividing it with his family and friends, and chopped up Filipinos when they complained or looked unhappy.
 

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