Modern Philippine mythical creatures

Mon, 10/27/2014 - 11:19
 
 
A report from a totally reliable source -- an anonymous text message -- says Batangas is being menaced by a group of aswang on a truck.
 
I think it's a hoax. Don't you think it's suspicious how the message fails to say how the aswang were recognized? Did they drive their truck close enough for the texter to get a good look at their Official Aswang IDs? For all we know they could have been congressmen -- it's easy to confuse the two species.
 
But even if the report is bogus, it raises a timely question: isn't it time to update the list of Philippine mythological creatures?

Super Crazy Marcos Loyalist Claims

Wed, 10/01/2014 - 10:31
 
 
By now, pretty much all of planet Earth - and probably a few neighboring star systems - is aware that Ferdinand Marcos was a lying, stinking, thieving butcher.
 
This is something that doesn't sit well with Marcos loyalists.
 
"Aww, he's not that bad", they say while drooling on their alphabet blocks (the complete loyalist set, A to B)
 
Loyalists don't like hearing that Marcos killed thousands of Filipinos, jailed and tortured tens of thousands more, and stole at least US$10 billion. They don't like hearing how Marcos chopped up the economy, dividing it with his family and friends, and chopped up Filipinos when they complained or looked unhappy.
 

Q & A: Metro Manila's traffic

Sun, 09/14/2014 - 21:32
 
 
As part of our continuing commitment to public service, we offer this new series on understanding Metro Manila's traffic problem. We begin with this general Q&A on the topic.
 
Q: How bad is Manila's traffic?
A: Our researchers estimate that if, at 7:30 a.m., they were to board a bus going from Quezon City to Makati...
 
Q: Yes?
A: Sorry, our researchers are unable to complete the sentence, they're still stuck in traffic. Check back with us in two days.
 
Q: Why is Manila's traffic so bad?
A: The explanation involves a complex interplay of factors such as vehicles, commuters, pedestrians, drivers and enforcers.

How to tell if your building is world class

Mon, 09/01/2014 - 18:36
 
 
 
Congratulations! Your mayor has just finished constructing a brand new parking building. You say it seems really really expensive? Well, we don't consider it "expensive," we consider it "world class." Let's go on an inspection tour and answer your questions about this unique new parking facility.
 
What's so unique about this parking building that cost billions to build?
First of all, did you notice how, when we drove in, the gates opened and closed? They're automatic gates.
 
But they were opened by security guards.
True, but they opened the gates automatically. And they saluted too. Now that's world class. Why, in some villages, the security guards won't automatically open the gates.

Getting to know the MRT (Might Run Today)

Fri, 08/29/2014 - 20:48

from Wikimedia Commonsby Alan Robles

For the next part of our series on traffic, we'll now talk about how to beat Manila's notorious jams by using the train system. We'll focus on the MRT, which as everyone knows, stands for "Might Run Today."
 
Just kidding; of COURSE the MRT will run today. In fact, it runs everyday. True, it might sometimes run only halfway to where you want to go, which you'll discover when the train suddenly stops in the middle of a stretch of tracks between stations. But never fear, the train makes up for these moments by also occasionally running PAST your destination, plowing through barriers with enthusiasm.
 

Government mulls assigning teachers to Internet commenters

Mon, 08/11/2014 - 08:34
 
armed prototy[e

by Alan Robles

Government announced yesterday it is considering assigning public school teachers to every Internet commenter in the Philippines.

It said it is alarmed by a trend where, apparently, Filipinos don't bother to read online articles before reacting.
 
As a result, they post misinformed statements, making them, in the words of one official, "look really stupid."
 

Understanding the SONA

Fri, 08/08/2014 - 12:13
 
 
The State of the Nation Address, SONA,  is a very important occasion. It's that time of the year when the President goes over to Congress and, in a moving ceremony, pounds a large native drum and officially proclaims the start of the pork hunting season.
 
Just kidding. Actually, SONA is a political event that directly affects the lives of overwhelming numbers of politicians, reporters, columnists, furrowed-brow TV commentators, spin doctors and coup plotters. A couple thousand people, tops.
 

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