by Alan Robles
Mabuhay, everyone! Welcome aboard our bus for our special new tour of our WONDERFUL city of Manila.
I'm your guide, Derma Dementa of MyLabs Tours, and I'm HAPPY to show you around my FABULOUS city. You've probably heard all those nasty fake reports about murders and killings and whatnot -- THEY ARE LIES! LIES! ALL LIES!
Oh, I'm sorry sir! I didn't mean to make you jump like that. Did I startle you? Here, let me pick up your glasses.