Anyway, the incident points to a crying need for one thing: a TV series that actually, honestly shows how this administration works.
As it so happens and by an amazing coincidence - yo Martin, where's the one thousand bucks? - we happen to have a script treatment right here! So without further ado, let's watch:
THE OBOSEN CHRONICLES
It's morning in the Tokhang Republic and in a certain Palace, President Obosen is about to start his day...
Aide: President Obosen, tang***mo! I have news for you!
Obosen: What did you just say?
Aide: Well, didn't you tell us to be informal and frank and that gutter language is fine with you? Tang***mo!!
O: That's right. But you should have let me call you that first, you sonofabitch.
O: Tang*** that's the fourth one this week. (goes to intercom) Send me another aide, and get this body out of here.
(another aide comes in)
New Aide: You want this body wrapped in tape?
O: Yes and get me a fresh clip. Now, Joe what's on our agenda?
Jose Lizardino, political adviser: The war on drugs is going well! Last night 30 people were shot dead. They include 20 kids, five babies and four mistaken identities.
O: You mean there was only one actual suspect?
L: Yes sir.
O: I accept that collateral damage. Good job!
L: And also one tree was shot.
O: A tree?
L: It was resisting arrest.
L: It wouldn't follow instructions to drop to the ground.
L: And after it was shot, the police recovered three sachets of shabu and a gun beside it.
O: Case closed. Just don't tell Gina.
L: Er, sir, your senior education consultant is unhappy about it.
L: Apparently, the tree was his favorite student and only fan.
O: Just give the old fool a medal to shut him up.
O: Gawd I hate drugs! What's next on the agenda?
L: We've finished making the official schedule of conspiracies against you sir.
O: Let's hear it.
L: This month, millions of students will graduate.
L: Many of them won't find jobs. It's clearly a conspiracy by the oligarchs.
O: The fault of the dilawan! Curse them!
L: Also, Mocha Uson will get kicked out of Twitter again. This is a plot to overthrow your government.
O: Find the plotters! They're addicts! Drug lords!
L: And over the next year, people will criticize you for murders and corruption and patronage. This is a big conspiracy.
O: Terrorists! I'll fire rockets at them! I'll declare Martial Law!
L: Next, your schedule of appointments today. You're supposed to see the US state secretary...
O: Tell him to go to hell! I bow to nobody!
L: Marcos Junior and the Chinese ambassador are waiting outside to see which one you'll be the driver for.
O: Oh no! Quick! Which one do I go out with, oh dear. I need fentanyl!
Will true love find its course? Find out in the next exciting episode of Obosen Chronicles