With the help of bonuses, appointed exec explains what GOCCs are

Mon, 10/14/2013 - 20:28

By Alan Robles

Hello everybody! I am Procopio Nakinabang, a director at a GOCC. You don't know what a GOCC is? No problem! I'm here to tell you all about it. But first, let me give myself a bonus.

(Cash register ka-ching)

GOCC stands for "Government Owned and Controlled Corporation." This is a big company belonging to the government, which gives lots of money to GOCCs. The money comes from taxpayers. Some people say GOCCs are useless but that is so very untrue and unfair, there are many GOCCs and they are in crucial sectors like housing, food, health, transportation, banking, social security, pensions and so much more...

Hold on, is that my smartphone alarm ringing? Yep, just as I thought, it's time I got another bonus.

(Cash register ka-ching)

As I was saying, GOCCs play a key role. It is therefore important that their executives be highly qualified. Do you know that directors and heads of GOCCs change with every new administration? Every President gets to appoint the people to GOCCs.

Not just anybody can be a GOCC executive. To be appointed, a candidate must have the necessary skills and prestige. The appointee must also know highly technical terms and concepts such as "emoluments", "perquisites" and "per diems." Lastly, the appointee must have a spirit of public service.

Do you know it's a big sacrifice for people to accept an appointment to a government company? Who would want to give up a fulfilling underpaid, intrigue-filled career in a public university just to become a GOCC executive who gets paid thousands and thousands and thousands of pesos just for sitting down in a meeting. Take it from me, Procopio Nakinabang, you need a strong constitution to be that kind of person.

That is why I am really upset hearing complaints that we GOCC executives are overpaid, useless political appointees who don't do anything. Why, people say the service in the social security company remains slow and inefficient for members. Really? Really? Well I happen to be a member myself and just yesterday I had no problem instantly getting a loan for an apartment. And a car. Why, I got it in minutes! What ARE you people complaining about?

Oh my golly, my blood pressure is rising. Time to give myself a bonus.

(Cash register ka-ching)

Anyway, we board members were so amazed at the speed of service that we went ahead and awarded ourselves a bonus. Yes! Yes! Ka-ching!

Coming up: stay tuned for the government's touching docu-drama on life as a GOCC appointee: "My Husband's Bonus."



Add new comment