Throw out the clowns

Tue, 03/20/2007 - 00:00
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Politicians usually belong to groups called "parties." There used to be only two of them, the Nacionalistas and the Liberalistas, but free-market economics and globalization have opened up the field so that now there are dozens of parties. But all of them can trace their roots to that great "mother party" of the Philippines, the Opportunistas.

To help them in their work politicians rely on a variety of faithful assistants and supporters, which they create by synthesizing life in great unholy laboratories. Just kidding. Actually they buy them: in the marketplace, where flunkies are available at great volume discounts. When Americans hear the word "stooges" they probably think of that famous comedy team of Larry, Moe and Curly Joe. Here in our country, stooges go by many names, for instance, Belinda, Alex and Amando. They will remain loyal until death, or until the next administration changes, whichever comes first.

And of course, no trapo is complete without at least guards, affectionately called "goons", to protect his or her person. Even if the trapo doesn't need protection, a squad of goons brandishing handheld radios and guns always gives the right touch of class. Some trapos bring them everywhere, even to the bathroom.

Having briefly discussed politicians, we now come to the most important question: where is the best country to move to? No, actually, the question is what are our politicians good for? The popular view is that politics is a circus and that our politicians are clowns who entertain the public and make them laugh.

Just look at these great moments of comedy. In 1949, the senate president, Jose Avelino was investigated for corruption. He got very angry and exclaimed, "what are we in power for?". He got off the hook. In 2001, Tessie Aquino Oreta, a senator who voted to protect Joseph Estrada and was caught on video capering gleefully about it, later told an interviewer "What is most important to me is my family." And this year, it was discovered that President Arroyo's son, congressman Mikey Arroyo, was worth P74 million, when last decade he only had P50,000.

Ok, so you might not find that funny. But at least the clowns are laughing.

Comments

Submitted by noypi aqui (not verified) on
&quot;..we now come to the most important question : where is the best country to move to ?&quot;<br />what a classic. thumbs up!

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