Rising idiocy rates make another Marcos presidency possible, says loyalist

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 18:24
Philippine national amnesia and idiocy rates have at last reached the point where another Marcos presidency is possible, a slimy loyalist announced yesterday.
"It's finally happened, imbecility has reached critical mass - and a Marcos presidency is a go", exulted Crawl Parole, low-level loyalist, part-time grocery bagger and amateur bodybuilder.
In an online interview attended by this reporter and dozens of Parole's fake sockpuppet identities, the loyalist said: "We are so thrilled - national IQ is down, amnesia is up, and just as important, our country is once again rich enough to be plundered in the thorough way that only a Marcos can plunder. YES!"
Loyalist Parole said these considerations lay behind the announcement this week that Ferdinand Marcos junior will run for the presidency in 2016.
The late Ferdinand Marcos senior ruled as a brutal dictator from 1972 to 1986, when a people power uprising chased him and his family out of the country. His one-man rule murdered thousands of innocent people, and detained and tortured tens of thousands more. Ruling by decree, the dictator smashed constitutional freedoms, ruined the economy and corrupted national institutions The Marcos family is believed to have stolen at least 10 billion dollars, loot which remains stashed abroad.
"Tell me," Parole asked, "do you remember the looting? The plunder? The human rights violations? The lying? You don't? EXCELLENT."
After Marcos senior died, the family was allowed back to the country and several members, including renowned shoe addict and popular Jabba the Hutt impersonator Imelda Marcos, were elected into high public office.
But, Parole stressed, nothing beats getting the presidency.
"You think this pork barrel scandal is big stuff?" Parole asked. "Just wait til a Marcos gets elected - then you'll see what real lying, looting and plundering are. This is the family that patented election fraud, remember.
"We are looking forward to a brand new Gagong Lipunan.
He said the emergence of a Marcos as a presidential candidate was the result of hard work of supporters.
"We owe it all to years of work of a dedicated bunch of Marcos loyalists, their fake accounts, their non-stop lying...
"Excuse me while I shed a few reptilian tears," Parole sniffed.
He explained that now "we loyalists are busy brainstorming campaign slogans.
"How does this one sound? This Country Can Be Raped Again."


Submitted by bplanes (not verified) on
giving emphasis on the Marcos years or even years after, as part of History subjects at school will greatly help the Philippine youth understand what's going on now and learn from it.

Submitted by raspberry keton... (not verified) on
Hello, I enjoy reading all of your article. I like to write a little comment to support you.

Submitted by Ti.motheo m. Obaxh (not verified) on
We cannot afford to be idiots in this situation. The Edsa 1 became sucessful because of the Americans. We owe it to them. With so many corporstions the Marcoses amassed, it was possible that they became a threat to multinational corporations. If we allow another Marcos regime, the Americans will be reluctant to help us because it's legitimate. People could rise against the government but would fail. Without foreign intervention, we could not repulse another marcos regime. They would be very determined to stay in power at all cost and would also be immune of corruption charges since it is their second stint. Wirh the U.S most likely to just fence sit, it could be very bloody and it may even become a civil war.

Submitted by HACIENDALUICITA... (not verified) on
bobo naman ng article na to. "this country can be raped again" ignorante ka ba sa nanyayari ngayon? di pa ba narerape ang pilipinas dahil sa mga gagong opisyal ngayon lalo na ang gagong aquino? nyeta di mu naman na siguro kelangan paalalahanan pa niya. hacienda luisita pa lang.

Submitted by alan on
Your moron comment is duly noted

Submitted by Gil (not verified) on
1986 was a year of great humiliation for the Narcos family. With the degree of shame amd infamy they experienced, they may have gone through some sort of metanoia or cleansing. But you know what? Inspite of everything, these people have remained civil and respectful and have evidently behaved more respectably than those trying to deface them.

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