Out of Focus

Humor

Understanding the SONA

Fri, 08/08/2014 - 12:13
 
 
The State of the Nation Address, SONA,  is a very important occasion. It's that time of the year when the President goes over to Congress and, in a moving ceremony, pounds a large native drum and officially proclaims the start of the pork hunting season.
 
Just kidding. Actually, SONA is a political event that directly affects the lives of overwhelming numbers of politicians, reporters, columnists, furrowed-brow TV commentators, spin doctors and coup plotters. A couple thousand people, tops.
 

Questions and Answers about the DAP controversy

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 18:34
 
 
Seeking enlightenment on the contentious DAP issue, we enticed renowned and enigmatic media critic Justin Spinboogers, Esq, from his brooding seclusion  to give us, with his trademark incisive and trenchant wit, the benefit of his sober and dispassionate insight
 
Impeach?Mister Spinboogers, what is DAP?
I don't know, let's impeach the President!
 
Is the DAP constitutional?
I don't know, let's impeach the President!
 
Did the people benefit from DAP?
I don't know, let's impeach the President!
 

How's your dictator?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:29
 
                                                                                                                            graphic from Fight Back
Dear Filipinos
We at Shatweak, Schwindle & Troll Political Consultancy Inc understand your country has just acquired a brand-new dictator. Congratulations! Please take this brief questionnaire to help us determine if your new dictator meets strict international standards.
 

Test yourself: Are you qualified to be buried in Libingan Ng Mga Bayani?

Sun, 12/10/2017 - 15:22

by Alan Robles

Contrary to what critics say, the Duterte administration didn't arbitrarily decide to bury Ferdinand Marcos in the Heroes' Cemetery, Libingan ng Mga Bayani. No, it consulted expert scholars to see if the former dictator's corpse was worthy of interment in the LMB.

The experts used a test specially designed by members of The Official Gazette, called the Test for Interring The Marcos Officer (TITIMO). You can take it yourself and see if YOU qualify to be buried in the heroes cemetery.

50 New Year's Resolutions from the Palace

Tue, 01/03/2017 - 12:13

by Alan Robles

A lavandera with strange powers was walking past one of Malacañang Palace's gates when she was run down by a speeding backhoe. Brought to the hospital, she woke up after a few hours and started writing down the following New Year's resolutions, claiming she had received them from a "mysterious source":

1. Crush the drug problem
2. Change the Constitution
3. Stop swearing
4. God damn it, I'm serious
5. Calm down

Will politicians take the MRT Challenge?

Wed, 03/11/2015 - 19:06
 
 
Early September 2014, two powerful public officials, the transport secretary and a senator, separately rode the MRT 3. This is earthshaking news: the high and mighty actually RODE public transport.
 
Not that there's anything with the MRT, of course. It's perfectly safe and efficient, if you discount the fact that it's overloaded, overcrowded, breaks down on odd and even days, and sometimes just for variety plows through the restraining barrier in its terminus.
 
All right, so maybe it isn't so OK. That's why what the two officials did is great. It will surely open the eyes of those in power to the truth about the MRT – namely that it's a TERRIFIC way to get free publicity with just a year to go before elections.

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