Pinoys R Us

Bill Gates hires a new chairman

Tue, 11/20/2007 - 00:00

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.

Exactly 5,000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

Two thousand people leave the room.

Mario says to himself, "I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try."

Making the parflays dance

Thu, 04/26/2007 - 00:00

The audience applauds as the music starts, and into the spotlight dances a curvaceous young woman. Then she starts singing."Keys me", she warbles. "Silvimousse is barkley ... make the parflays dance." Or that's what it sounded like to someone who made a video clip of the performance and provided subtitles. The actual lyrics are: "Kiss me, the silver moon's sparkling ... make the fireflies dance."

Schoolbooks from hell

Mon, 04/09/2007 - 00:00

There were 15 Roman emperors in all of history. Jews are often discriminated against because of their traditions, such as killing Germans, and fish breathe through lungs. These are just a few examples of the fascinating assertions in Philippine school textbooks - things you have probably never heard before, and for good reason: they are terribly, stupidly wrong.

Deuterium delirium

Mon, 04/09/2007 - 00:00

US president Richard Nixon loved to say that "when the going gets tough, the tough get going". American journalist Hunter S. Thompson had his own version: "When the going gets tough, the weird turn pro." In the Philippines, buffeted by political and economic crises, the weird are turning professional, as strange people scent an opportunity to make money from evil times.

May parades

Mon, 04/09/2007 - 00:00

You're driving around Manila at night and turn into one of our famously narrow, crowded streets. Seeming to float towards you amid the urban grime, you encounter a vision that makes you blink; a glittering parade resembling a cross between a fashion show and a fairy tale.


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